This installment of the PDW Good Neighbor series continues our quest to get to know our neighbors along the N. Williams Ave ‘Bicycle Corridor’. Our friends over at the Portland campus of United Bicycle Institute are a good bunch. They play a big role in anchoring bicycle-based businesses in our 'hood and we couldn’t be more stoked to have them as neighbors. If you’re not already familiar with UBI, they offer a number of classes in both bicycle maintenance and frame building. Too many local frame builders to count honed their chops at UBI (stay tuned for more about UBI in the future!).
Our good buddy Dylan Robbins pulls some shifts as an instructor at UBI as well as steering the ship of the in-famous Team Jens Voigt Army (JVA). We welcome Dylan as our next good neighbor profile!
Name, AKA: Dylan Robbins AKA Admiral Longpour
Kevin Murphy (KM): Okay...First and foremost, Admiral Longpour, what the heck is Team JVA and why team JVA?
Dylan, Admiral Longpour (AL): Team JVA is a loose collection of like-minded and like-rumped individuals dedicated to the proposition that cycling should be, above all else, an enjoyable pursuit. Unless your ability to pay rent and buy groceries depends upon your cycling prowess, you shouldn't take yourself too seriously. We try not to lose sight of the fact that we are lucky enough to have the ability to engage in a recreational endeavor where we can inflict suffering on ourselves and derive reward according to our whims. JVA is all the stupid/hilarious/juvenile moments that happen during rides between true friends, writ large for others to experience. If any of it resonates, rad. If not, we're riding and laughing anyway.
KM: What's your involvement in JVA? Chief rear-end soigneur?
AL: Rear Admiral. Founder and spiritual advisor. Mustache consultant.
KM: Who runs your twitter and hilarious yet long-winded blog? Ahem…
AL: On the blog, I write the words, Goggles Paisano writes the songs. He is the visual Merlin to my wordsmithing Morgan laFey. The photoshopping Captain to my verbal Tennile. Our Twitter feed is co-managed. Goggles and I have a good cop/bad cop arrangement. If a post sounds like it was written by a guy with Tourette's who just drank a bunch of lighter fluid, it's probably my work.
KM: I have to say, your work has legs, JVA is all over the internet and when meeting Jens Voigt at Trek World last year, he told me he didn’t know the guys behind it, but was indeed a fan of the soundboard.
KM: Why Paisley?
AL: See JFA: Jodie Foster’s Army [ed. Note: this link puts the subject to bed. Probably the longest diatribe I’ve ever read about a textile pattern.]
KM: Well then, Cordurouy or Camouflage?
AL: Truth is stranger than cordurouy's friction
KM: Velveteen or Plaid?
AL: Argyle
KM: What is your title and role at UBI?
AL: I'm a full-time instructor. Molding tomorrow's mechanics, today. I also write curriculum and help manage UBI's online presence.
KM: Background prior to UBI?
AL: Meso-American archaeologist.
KM: You’re kidding..?
AL: Nope.
KM: Penny Farthing or recumbent?
AL: Recumbent Penny Farthing.
KM: Calvin or Hobbes?
AL: Hobbes, FTW.
KM: Is that a fake mustache?
AL: It’s not a mustache, a terrier died on my face.
KM: Braze or TIG, who’s the boss?
AL: Ron Sutphin. He was building fames when all of you were in short pants.
KM: I’m in short pants right now.
AL: I know.
KM: Who would win in a fight, Jens Voigt or Lemmy?
AL: Lemmy.
KM: Jens Voigt vs Cippolini?
AL: Jens Voigt.
KM: Jens Voigt vs Jan Ulrich?
AL: Jens Voigt.
KM: Jens Voigt Vs. Lars Ulrich?
AL: Of course, Lars.
KM: So for most folks already familiar with JVA and its sister site/project Jahvahaah Internationale, you guys like to give our buddies over at Rapha a good ribbing now and then. We like to ask our interviewees about various wrestling or arm wrasslin’ scenarios between rivals. Could you please envision and describe a wrestling match between the clothier Rapha and Team JVA?
AL: A romantic cabin in the Hamptons. An autumnal Wednesday afternoon. Tiny Tim plays softly on the HiFi. The Southampton silence is broken only by the crackling fire, the beating of two hearts, and the sensual rustling of polar bear fur against skin. Two champagne flutes rest demurely on the mantle. "More Martini&Rossi?, I hear Rapha ask, his voice a swirl of French lavender and gravel. My reply is halting, breathless even. "Any more and this little JVA may forget how to behave like a lady." I lean closer, lips ablaze with wantingness and wantonness, but realize that Rapha is talking to his own reflection. (Scene)
KM: Also will Team JVA ever win a race? Or a best looking competition?
AL: Check the OBRA results, my husky friend. We have palmares for days. And we're only one season in. Best looking? You best be looking in your rearview, lest JVA swaggerjack a brother.
KM: Do you crush it? Why or why not?
AL: Not. If you crush it they won't give you money for it when you put it in the recycling machine outside the grocery store.
KM: What is your smallest gear?
AL: I once made a pair of snowshoes for a hamster. That was some small-ass gear.
KM: Tent or bivouac sac?
AL: Frigidaire box behind the Plaid Pantry.
KM: Climb or rappel?
AL: Scrapple (that's Pennsylvania Dutch pork mush for the provincial amongst you.)
KM: favorite animal? Or spirit animal?
AL: I like turtles.
KM: Misfits or Ramones?
AL: Misfits for cat litter recommendations, Ramones for everything else.
KM: Doubt it...
KM: Stevie Wonder or Stevie Ray Vaughn?
AL: Stevie Ray Wonderwoman
KM: Do you guys ever ride mountain bikes? We only ever see you on the road.
AL: Then you haven't been looking. Goggles Paisano and I destroyed the 6 hours of Mount Hood last year. And he totally crashed on his face.
KM: (Scene)
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